Embracing My Unique Discernment as a Middle Child

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Growing up as the fourth of seven siblings, I’ve always found my place in the family to be both a challenge and a blessing. As the middle child, I often felt caught between the expectations of my older siblings, they are great at almost everything and desired that I be as well, and the needs of or not being needed at all by my younger siblings. Yet, this unique position has gifted me with a powerful sense of discernment that I’ve come to cherish and embrace.

Being the middle child often comes with stereotypes: we’re seen as the “forgotten” ones , those who struggle for attention or who is over shadowed by the other siblings.

This was somewhat true for me; in my younger years, I was always referred to as Michell's little sister. In high school, I was known as Rev. and Donald's little sister. Back then, I wondered if anyone knew my name!!! 😂 Trying to have a boyfriend who wasn't afraid of my brothers was almost impossible because I was Rev.'s sister and therefore off limits. Those boys said Anthony wasn't going to put God on them over his little sister, or they didn't want Donald cursing them out about his sister. 😂 I just couldn't catch a break. So, I was cast in the shadows and known simply as "The little sister."

Nevertheless, I had a fulfilling childhood, surrounded by love and support. My parents and older siblings worked hard to ensure that each of us had what we needed, and while I didn’t always get things immediately, I never felt deprived.

In my preteen and teenage years, me and my three older siblings would often sing together, traveling around to sing praises to God. Michell, Anthony and Donald would always lead the songs. Ive never been a lead singer but Ive always been able to hold my note and keep the vocals balanced as we sang.

I can remember this one particular time when we'd been off singing—we were eager to get to my

grandmas house to let her know that we had been off singing again and had done a great job.

Our grandma was excited to hear all about our experience that night and smiled with the biggest smile as her side gold tooth sparkled and sent pure confidence through our souls as we shared every detail with her.

She said, "I know Tina, as we call Michell, took care of all those high notes. Donnie Don, as she called Donald, I know he had everybody out of their seats, and Anthony preached a good sermon." We laughed and talked a little bit more. As we all were walking out of the house, our grandma grabbed me by the hand and said, "They couldn't have done any of that without you." I looked at her and smiled. She said, "You brought the Holy Spirit to the service. You are the watchman of the group." My siblings and I left my grandma's house that night and went home. What my grandma said stuck with me. I didn't quite understand what she meant by being the watchman of the group. It would be many, many years later that God would give me the revelation of what she said.

As I transitioned into young adulthood—going from high school to beauty school and then taking classes at a local college—I met a lot of people and discovered that I had a strong intuition about people and situations.

This intuition was a double-edged sword, though. In my younger years, I felt pressured to conform to the expectations of friends and family, often ignoring my intuition to fit in. I didn't know what the intuition was at the time, so I ignored it. It was a burden. I didn't want to be the one who always saw the bad in everything or the one who always had to buck against the crowd. Suppressing my better judgment landed me in some very undesirable situations.

With time and experience, I started to give this "INTUITION" more attention. I started really testing it out. I learned to really trust it.

While my peers often followed the crowd, I found myself needing to take a different path. When everyone moved one way, I felt a gentle nudge to go the other. This instinctive pull became my guide, helping me navigate the complexities of life.

Although this became my guide and was always accurate, the more I trusted it, the LOUDER it would get. It seemed like it wouldn't get uncontrollably LOUD until I was with a crowd of family or friends. It was literally driving me crazy, at least that's what it felt like.

It didn't matter if my siblings and I were off singing or if I accompanied my brother Anthony as he preached, or if we were with friends just talking, if something was off, something in my head would be screaming so LOUD "this is wrong"! This person isn't a good person! Go the other WAY! It would be so loud and so vivid until I literally thought I was losing my mind and I didnt why noone else didnt see or hear it. I kept quiet for many years about this because I just didnt know what to do with it. Nevertheless, I could definitely see and hear things that were off.

I later started to tell others when I would have these intuitions about things. Most times, they would just brush me off and think I was doing too much. 🤦🏽‍♀️ Other times, they would take what I said and later find it to be true.

As I grew a little older, it started to happen more frequently. It started to happen so much, and it would be so LOUD until one day I found myself buried in the lap of my mom, crying and asking her to ask God to take it away. It was too much for me to handle, and it made people either overly like me or not like me at all. It was weird, and I hated it!!!!

It was that day that my mom sat me down and really told me what this "INTUITION" was. She let me know that this was not a bad thing. It's discernment. All of us have it, some of us have more of it than others, and God saw fit to give me a triple portion of it.😱 She went into full detail about people in the Bible who possess this type of discernment. She also gave me family history of others, including herself, who too have a triple portion of discernment.

That day, she also explained the unique power a middle child holds, even if they're unaware of it. She mentioned that while I might feel over shadowed in the family, I shouldn't. She compared it to Oreos, which need the cream filling in the middle to stay together. The cream is the adhesive! Few people eat two dry cookies without the filling, and often, people savor the filling before the cookie, emphasizing its significance. She went on to advise me never to underestimate the importance of the middle child's role; they have the advantage of seeing and hearing from all sides. They are the glue that holds everything together. They are the guardians of the group.

It was on that day that I realized what my grandma meant when she referred to me as the watchman of the group. That day, I truly discovered my purpose within the family.

After getting a better understanding, I learned how to channel this discernment, understanding that not everything I saw needed to be shared immediately. Sometimes it was meant for me to process and reflect upon.

There were moments when I struggled with this aspect of myself, wondering why I was created differently. Why do I always notice the glaring red flags that others dismiss as insignificant? Possessing strong discernment occasionally left me feeling alone. Nonetheless, whenever I disregarded that inner voice, I encountered difficulties I could have sidestepped.

People frequently inquire why I decide not to associate with specific individuals or groups. My response is straightforward: I perceive things that others don't. Some family and friends still propose that I might be overanalyzing or being overly selective. I've learned to simply smile and accept being in the middle, observing and praying.

If you’re a middle child who often feels different, misunderstood or just left in the shadows, I encourage you to embrace your unique perspective. It took me many years to appreciate my individuality and the gifts that come with being in the middle. I once heard my sister, Michell, say it’s perfectly fine to be ordinary. In reality, what you perceive as ordinary or weird could be what makes you extraordinary!

Occasionally, I find myself amused as I unconsciously watch over my siblings and silently pray for them without their knowledge. I've now earned a new title... I am the MANAGER of our family. Being in the MIDDLE, I hear and see it from both sides bringing a balance and making sure everything runs smoothly.

I hope you've enjoyed my first blog post. Until next time.....Bye yall.

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The Gifts of Embracing My Unique Perspective

Embracing my individuality allows me to live authentically, fostering genuine connections and attracting those who resonate with my true self. Trusting my instincts and following my unique path builds resilience, equipping me to face challenges. My individuality fuels creativity, bringing fresh perspectives to my life. By embracing uniqueness, I inspire others to celebrate their distinct paths. Ultimately, living true to myself leads to fulfillment, aligning my passions and goals with my soul. T

The Bible affirms our individuality, as seen in Psalm 139:14, reminding us we are wonderfully made with purpose.

1 Peter 4:10 encourages us to use our unique gifts to serve others. Let’s celebrate our differences and find strength in our unique journeys!